Social media is full of flawless (self-proclaimed) models. They post pictures of their perfect bodies, using it as a marketing tool to sell us another diet, shake, or something else that is supposed to help us become as beautiful as they are. However, they’re not totally honest with us. And Danae Mercer is here to expose them.
Insta vs reality — or LETS talk LIGHTING. Because that’s the main difference in these photos.
In one, my bum is deliberately angled into the shadows. The softer light hides my cellulite and smooths most of my stretchmarks. It’s flattering.
In the other, I’m just casually squatting (lol) beside the mirror. My hips and thighs are in the sunlight. Lumps and bumps are on show.
There are a few posing differences (core tight, hips popped back, squeeeezzzinnnggg), but mostly this pic is about LIGHT working its magic.
When I worked in magazines, we shot at sunrise or sunset. On most sets, there were people holding SUN DIFFUSERS and REFLECTORS to help create the perfect FLATTERING balance of shadow and light.
The same thing happens on SOCIAL MEDIA, just in a different form.
Most insta-models know EXACTLY how to POSE and work their angles.
And they know LIGHTING too.
Like how SIDE LIGHT, diffused from a window, is the most flattering for abs but usually pretty harsh on the face.
It’s why you’ll often see a phone covering the face.
Or how SHADOWS can gently eliminate certain LUMPS and BUMPS.
All that is fine with me, honestly.
It’s art and photography, and there is no shame in wanting to look FIERCE.
But I also want to remind you about how SO MUCH on here is FILTERED.
POSED.
PERFECTED.
And how you shouldn’t EVER COMPARE YOURSELF to a STRANGER on the internet.
Because cowgirl, you’re just seeing their snapshots taken in PERFECT LIGHT.
Your reality is a whole lot more varied, diverse, and human than that.
It’s more perfectly imperfect. Real. Raw.
And that’s a wonderful thing indeed.
You got this.
Researchers agree that Instagram usage has been positively associated with self-objectification among young women for some time now. They point at the risks of internalizing societal beauty ideals and obsessing over comparing your appearance with those whose posts you see on the Internet and say that it can lead to developing serious appearance-related concerns.
Fighting against these unachievable beauty standards has set Mercer apart from the crowd and has earned her over 1.1 million followers on Instagram alone. “My Instagram feed is focused on making gals feel normal. I deal a lot with angles and posing, a bit with eating disorders, and loads with uplifting quotes that are designed to make women feel good,” Mercer told Bored Panda. “It’s the sort of stuff that makes me feel better in a day.” There’s also a lot of her snaggle-toothed rescue kitty, Kiki. But we’ll leave that for you to discover yourself.
Hands up if you can relate!
Buuuut jokes aside – BLOATING happens to me a LOT. When I’m hormonal. When I’m stressed. When I eat this or that. And most the time I’m OK with it, but sometimes, sometimes it hits me hard.
Today was one of those days.
But here’s where BODY ACCEPTANCE comes in. And here’s what I want to say to all YOU GALS.
Body acceptance tells us that even on our bad days — and we will have bad days, even Lizzo has bad days — we are still worth KINDNESS. We still deserve FOOD. We are STILL incredible creatures that can move and train and work and play and relax.
And that a bad DAY or a BAD BLOAT doesn’t MAKE US BAD.
Every time one of those negative pebbles of thought pops up (‘I’m disgusting’ ‘I’m a failure’ ‘Maybe I should just skip the next meal’), wrap it in the softness of self love.
Again and again until the SELF DOUBT wobbles drift off or fade away or are forgotten, if only for a moment.
This helps me on hard days.
This gives me strength on good ones.
And honestly, you gals do too.
I’m glad we’re in this together.
Mercer is a health journalist based between Dubai and London and is very passionate about body confidence. “When I was 19, my mom died and I developed a pretty severe eating disorder. In the year that followed, I struggled with body image and feeling comfortable in my own skin. It wasn’t until I hit my 30s — I’m 33 now — that I started to really own all the parts of me – including my wiggles, jiggles, and things that previously made me feel self-conscious.”
Mercer said most of her love for herself comes from having a community of women around her. “I started posting this kind of content a year ago, and every time I do, I’m constantly reminded just how normal it is to have stretchmarks, cellulite, wobbles, whatever. How human it is. And how incredible it feels when you can be yourself in all the ways — and have amazing women letting you know they’ve got those things too.”
SQUEEZING VS RELAXED – OR, I don’t care how bloated you are, you need to eat.
Because your body DESERVES food.
Regardless of if you trained that morning.
Regardless of if you had pizza the night before.
Eat — gently, kindly, in a way that fills your soul or fuels your goals.
And remember that social media is only half the story.
Not even half.
Not even a blink in a moment.
Here I’m squeezing my stomach, arching my back, exhaling, holding everything in.
And bam, perfect insta pose.
But the reality is this:
When I get anxious, my bloating gets bad.
And my appetite goes away.
Both delicate, dangerous things for anyone who has ever struggled with disordered eating.
So on here, I remind you gals to eat.
And off of here, I hold myself to the same standards.
Just a reminder.
For you. For me.
For anyone that needs to hear it.
Take care of yourself ladies.
We know social media is a highlight reel. That it’s glamour. That it’s perfection.
We know it’s people showing their best sides, their happy moments, their proud bits.
But that’s not human.
Humans have vulnerabilities and softness and fears and hopes and fragility and CELLULITE and minds that have good days and bad days and ALL OF IT, humans have ALL OF IT.
That’s human.
So let’s change the conversation. Especially RIGHT NOW when everything is so unpredictable and scary.
Let’s dare to make this wild, turbulent world something more positive. Whether it’s one post, one comment, one bit of great and powerful and real rawness at a time.
You got this. . .
ME / ALSO ME – Because POSING is fun but sitting COMFORTABLY is even better.
Now let’s talk DIET CULTURE myths.
For years, I thought if I GOT RID of my CELLULITE, I would be happy. It has always been my hang up.
So I cut calories.
I dropped dress sizes.
I shrank.
And I waited for that joy, for that feeling of confidence.
It didn’t come. Not even at my smallest.
None of these things made me feel BETTER about MYSELF.
And now, now, years later, I am softer. Squishier. No longer starving.
I weigh more.
But my heart is lighter.
Because here’s the thing I learned the hard way,
The thing that diet ads never tell you:
BODY IMAGE starts on the inside.
It does.
Being comfortable with your cellulite? Your stretchmarks?
Your bits that wiggle and jiggle and fold here or crease there?
All that requires mental work.
Internal heavy lifting.
Where day by day, month by month, you remind yourself how INCREDIBLE you are.
And how your WORTH, your VALUE as a HUMAN, doesn’t CHANGE even when your body does.
Nor does anyone else’s.
So today, fight against the urge to measure WHO YOU ARE as a HUMAN against whatever is or isn’t happening with your body.
Extend the same kindness to other women around you.
And allow yourself the softness of a bit of self love.
Because you ARE wonderful. You ARE incredible.
You ARE WORTHY.
Posed or relaxed, sandy or sweaty or sleepy or in any state.
You’re loved.